A writer, a life, a city

You’d give anything to…

You say that: you’d give anything to be healthy, to have the body you had 10 years ago. Anything, you say. You don’t even give a little.

Every day, you wake up grateful. You are thankful for the gift of life. You give thanks to God for you are safe and sound. Then, you get up and remember that you are at least ten kilograms heavier than you would like to be. You are about five inches thicker around your waist area than you used to be. Your arms, thighs and legs that you used to like are no more. No, actually, they are very hard to miss. You groan. You tell yourself you have to do something about it. You wish…

You only wish to be thinner. Your desire isn’t because of anyone or anything outside of you. You are not comfortable with how you look. You are unhappy with your body. It reflects your laziness.

You are not a lazy person. You are actually one of those who tend to work harder instead of smarter. You face work head on. You work a lot. You do dishes and attend to other chores at home. You clean and tidy up. You are rather obsessive compulsive. You only do not enjoy cooking, but you bake.

You used to exercise. Regularly. You even used to go to the gym. Constantly. Consistently. You used to. You had an exercise routine. You had the body you love to have. It was easier to exercise when your body isn’t heavy.

You also ate a lot, all the time! You ate junk food. You had unhealthy eating habits even when you weren’t exercising. At that time, you were still slender. You had a fast metabolism.

You want that fast metabolism. Back. Again. Whatever. You want a fast metabolism, period. But, aging isn’t kind. With growing older comes slowed metabolism. You are getting bigger.

But, you’d give anything to lose the weight and inches you don’t need/want. You’d do or give anything except do exercises, eat less, give up junk food, cakes, ice cream, pastries and other tasty unhealthy food, and have an overall healthy lifestyle in general.

It takes too long to reach the goal. You forget that you lost the dream weight gradually as well. You just want it back now.

Me, too!

I am a Generation-Xer. I grew up practising delayed gratification. I knew, understood and made sacrifices. Why do I find it almost impossible to take the path to leaner, meaner me machine?

Are we… am I lazy? I am wishing for a miracle. I want to have ________________ 《fill in the blank》without giving my all to get it.

I do not believe in mediocrity, but I fear I am sold to the belief that average is totally acceptable. Why did I even think I was an over-achiever? I blame my hypertension.

The problems glare at me, and so do the solutions…

A body at rest only has potential energy.

A body in motion has kinetic energy.

We know what to do.

Much love and hugs,
Anne J.

P.S. Regarding my weight, it may seem like it shouldn’t be a problem, but I am 5’1.5″ (yeah, so short that I need the half inch) and I weighed 47 kilograms max for most of my adulthood. I weigh about 59 kilograms now. I am 48 years old this month and hubby is 35 years old next month.

On my 37th birthday
Earlier this year… (with my gay friend dressed up for Rocky Horror Show)
And this was today 😆

2 thoughts on “You’d give anything to…

  1. Inner peace isn’t always easy to find but there is comfort in not being afraid to take up space ❤

    Also don't be too hard on yourself, lock-down is pretty scary for our minds and bodies. When threatened or stressed our instinct is sometimes to store as much energy as possible – for example the toilet paper crisis we nearly faced at the beginning of the pandemic, our bodies are hoarding for 'in case I run out' too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much! We could all do with encouraging words. I have become “meh”, choosing to spend time on more mundane and physical activities. Shrugging off the effects of lockdown is proving to be more challenging than I thought it would be especially when lockdown is still pretty much in my face.

      I hope you’re keeping well and in a better place (mentally / psychologically) during this world crisis.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s