Thoughts

Life Secret

Anne J.

…maybe!

Sometimes, I don’t manage to blog as work gets rather hectic. I had two weeks in a row in September (thus I started writing this post) when work held me up in the office on my appointment days with my therapist. There was a week I decided not to rush and I skipped my session completely instead. Granted that it is a waste of money, as the appointment is still billed and payable although not attended if not cancelled the day before at least, but not having the session has a worse consequence than merely financial.

Disorganization in events

What I am taking away from this is I recognized that I would never want to go into events if all clients were as unorganized as government organizations. It is ironic because “organizations” are meant to be organized. It is especially not a good idea for “desperation” to do “government events”. Well, in South Africa. It’s unnecessarily stressful. Then again, it’s probably deserved by those who lack the skills of planning and organizing.

Drama in insecurity

Similarly, I learned that some people thrive on drama. Somehow, some people are convinced that being immersed in drama makes them important. It is, of course, an illusion. Drama doesn’t make one important; it clearly shows a person’s inefficiency. I think it also displays insecurity. Being in an unnecessary and avoidable stress (by preparing in advance) merely communicates a person’s need to be bigger than he is. And what is this desire to be bigger? Does it, in fact, make one “bigger”? And what for?

Not good enough (Text)

Over-compensation in inadequacy

I may be generalizing but I am not absolutely inaccurate with my observation. I suffered from the feeling of inadequacy… a hell of a lot! I am more cognizant of it now. I know from experience that I over-compensated for my belief that I wasn’t good enough. Mostly, it was for show. Deep down was a desperate wish to be sufficient. It is a cry.

Secret to peace and joy

My secret to avoiding unnecessary stress (even in the presence of proper planning and preparation, and mindset of efficiency) is to bear in mind that it’s okay to feel insufficient or inadequate, there are millions others in the universe who are in the same situation. Also, it’s really not a big deal to NOT be “important”. After all, on what basis do we decide who is important and who isn’t? Isn’t it too subjective?

AND, I definitely don’t need others influencing or dragging me into the murky pool of drama. I will be a fool to believe that drama is the place to be. Peace and joy do not live there. So, do you really want drama?

What do you desire?

8 thoughts on “Life Secret”

  2. Long familiar with that Alan Watts recording. I grew up just up the coast from Esalen, where his daughter, Anne Watts, still does workshops. (Still go there periodically.) Regardless, we can be our own worst critics when we find it’s far easier said than done. Hindsight gives an unfair perspective.

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    1. Oh, wow! That’s fantastic. I find his teaching, if I may call his recordings that, thought-provoking. And for me, I’d rather be critical than complacent, I guess. Also, ponderings are not so bad although I read somewhere that introspection isn’t a positive thing… I’ll go back to it, as I forgot what it said exactly. All the same, even if it’s easier said than done, I’d like to find what I desire. I just don’t think I’d like to have power over all beings. 😊🤗

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      1. I certainly don’t advocate complacency. But I also think one has to be careful of self-criticism, especially when an expectation is set by some external voice. As much as I like Alan Watts’ message, I also question how realistic it is for most people (especially if desires power over all beings). 😉

        Probably more practical is the (supposedly) Okinawan idea of “ikigai”. It also promotes pursuing a passion, but acknowledges the real-life needs for talent/skill, a demand for what it produces, and being able to make a living. I’d add in a little luck as well.

        But that’s still a tall order… and I can’t in all honesty say that I’ve ever found anything to fit the bill for myself. Life is a compromise. And I suspect much “inadequacy” and “not being good enough” is just reality biting us in the backside when we have our eyes on our passions.

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      2. We do have to face reality and the truth… everything you said. The guest at the Business Book Club on Tuesday said something similar about passion and making a living or pursuing a business. It’s rare that it’s one and the same. I tell everyone, I need my job as a financial controller and perhaps something extra to fund my writing, which is my passion. 😀

        I read very briefly in ikagai. The diagram I saw spells out the truth. Yeah, some luck would help reach ikagai. But Gary Player said, the more we practice the luckier we get. 😉

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