Sometimes, I don’t manage to blog as work gets rather hectic. I had two weeks in a row in September (thus I started writing this post) when work held up in the office, working late, on my appointment days with my therapist. There was a week I decided not to rush and I skipped my session completely instead. Granted that it is a waste of money, as the appointment is still billed and due although not attended without cancelling the day before at least, but not having the session is a worse consequence.
Disorganization in events
What I am taking away from it is I recognized that I would never want to go into events if all clients were as unorganized as government organizations. Its ironic because “organizations” are meant yo be organized. It is especially not a good idea for “desperation” to do “government events”. Well, in South Africa. It’s unnecessarily stressful. Then again, its probably deserved by those who lack the skill of planning and organizing.
Drama in insecurity
Similarly, I learned that some people thrive on drama. Somehow, some people are convinced that being immersed in drama makes them important. It is, of course, an illusion. Drama doesn’t make one important; it clearly shows a person’s inefficiency. I think it also displays insecurity. Being in an unnecessary and avoidable stress (by preparing in advance) merely communicates a person’s need to be bigger than he is. And what’s this desire to be bigger? Does it, in fact, make one “bigger”? And what for?
Over-compensation in inadequacy
I may be generalizing but I am not absolutely inaccurate with my observation. I suffered from the feeling of inadequacy… a hell of a lot! I am more cognizant of it now. I know from experience that I over-compensated for my belief that I wasn’t good enough. Mostly, it was for show. Deep down was a desperate wish to be sufficient. It is a cry.
Secret to peace and joy
My secret to avoiding unnecessary stress (even in the presence of proper planning and preparation, and mindset of efficiency) is to bear in mind that it’s okay to feel insufficient or inadequate, there are millions others in the universe who are in the same situation. Also, it’s really not a big deal to NOT be “important”. After all, on what basis do we decide who is important and who isn’t? Isn’t it too subjective?
AND, I definitely don’t need others influencing or dragging me into the murky pool of drama. I will be a fool to believe that drama is the place to be. Peace and joy do not live there. So, do you really want drama?