Originally written in 2009, I have been making revisions since last year; counting syllables, reading it out loud, changing words, rearranging words within lines and so on. Today, I finally decided that it’s time I accepted that if I perfection is my goal, either this poem will never be read as it will remain hidden or it will be my throwback post in 2025. 🙂

Come up with all the clichés in the world
But that and more have been done before
Nothing could change your mind perhaps
To this end I will not wish to just give up

Gifts sent to you with the sweetest words of love
But no matter how heartfelt is not enough
Paralyzed with fear that decision you’ve made
You don’t want me in your life, that is for real

I am no Juliet to her Romeo
Although it doesn’t mean I don’t love you
I do make mistakes; I am not perfect
I disappoint you much, I do regret

I pray you’d show me how to make it right
Because if you leave, a mess I will be, and my life
And as none of my ways would work for you
I ask you to lead me; I will follow

No more I could say; I’m at your mercy
Where I stand with you, only you can tell me
I will accept what you decide to do
Even if it breaks my heart; I love you so

© Anna Jailene Aguilar-Van Der Merwe

7 thoughts on “Desperation

  1. “And as none of my ways would work for you” – oh, Anne, this line captures such a deep anguish from the writer. How hard we try sometimes to be the person someone else wants, perhaps not realizing that person might even “change the rules” if we did achieve it (depending on the person). Desperation, for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oi! Luckily we grow out of situations and life gives us both gift and curse. Obviously, that relationship didn’t work.
      Thank you so much for your feedback. I really appreciate your support, always, always.
      Much love and hugs xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, yes! ☺
        Thank you so much for getting me.
        And also, no matter how cliché, and religious (lol!), there’s this saying I hear from Filipino Catholics about God leading us to something better that’s why he doesn’t give us what we want.. or something like that. Or maybe it’s not a Christian thing. 😆

        Liked by 1 person

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