I’m just a little insane.
The definition of insanity according to Google is the state of being seriously mentally ill. Or madness, basically.
Here are some of the synonyms of insanity according to Google:
Mental illness, mental disorder, mental derangement, madness, insaneness, dementia, dementedness, lunacy, instability, unsoundness of mind, loss of reason; delirium, hysteria, mania, psychosis
The Legal Dictionary clarifies the definition as follows:
n. mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior. Insanity is distinguished from low intelligence or mental deficiency due to age or injury.
So, perhaps I am not suffering from insanity. However, if I were to consider this non-definition, which I often quote, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result!” then, there is a high probability of me being slightly demented.
And it really doesn’t matter who first came up with this quote.
And no, the quote is NOT a definition of insanity. I think it simply expresses the view that it’s insane to think that the end could be different even if the same thing is done repeatedly. It’s not possible. It’s crazy. You may even change the actors but if the script is the same, how your life plays out might change but result will be the same because the script says so. Change the script!
I’m veering off…
Why I persist
I don’t do the same thing many times over because I’m a stubborn Taurean who’s also an Accountant. And again no, it doesn’t matter how much the combination makes me a strong candidate to be obstinate-inclined.
There might be a few reasons for not changing the script:
- I am a creature of habit – nothing more to it… or is it laziness?
- Fear of the unknown – rather the devil I know than the devil I don’t, I guess
- The formula is correct but I’m not doing it correctly so maybe I should just keep doing it until I get it 100% accurate as per the instructions… but there is that faint voice saying this isn’t the case
- I’m a sucker for punishment and I don’t know why. Do I think I’ll win some award for persistence and determination?
- Or, perhaps I’m a little stuck in the past, battling to let go… why else do I still listen to songs I loved back in the 80s and 90s? Oh, they are better than the current mainstream songs that are devoid of poetry? 🙂
Fortunately, I am also a person who can recognize – eventually – the fact that I’m standing on the edge of the cliff and will fall off to the abyss and die if I continue. At least I can always say that I truly tried and did all that I could. But such a waste of time…
Intuition and sanity
I wish there was a gauge that tells me when I’m about to hit the mark of stupidity so I can avoid it.
But there is none of that.
Or isn’t there?
There is only my intuition… if only I’d listen to it.
You would agree I’m a little mad… just… crazy!
It has worked so far so I do and repeat, over and over, even if it has not perfectly worked or it has not worked as well as I would have liked.
I’m okay with my insanity for now. It keeps me sane and cheery.
And when I’m not happy with my craziness anymore then I am sure that I will do something about it — when sanity prevails.
Bye for now. Till next time. 🙂