Thoughts

Aggression

I seriously need to go stay in an ashram and meditate 24/7. Maybe I can get rid of the dark anger I harbor inside.

I am a very angry person. I have a lot of fury bundled in my being. If I were to be absolutely honest with myself, I’d say that not only am I aggressive but I am also passive-aggressive. Oh well, I guess I just said it.

I don’t mind the aggression as much as what it represents. My Body Talk practitioner told me that I needed to be friends with my anger as holding it in was physically manifesting itself as an allergy-like affliction. I had a problem expressing anger as I always saw it as a negative emotion and since I was healed from my situational depression (diagnosed as clinical) caused by my divorce, or so I thought, I only welcome the positive into my being. Anything unpleasant was discarded as quickly as it presented itself.

But, I can’t seem to run away from myself anymore. I can’t allow the miserable episode to be replayed because although I know that I will never resort to suicidal tendencies anymore I don’t know how I will handle an event that may trigger the return of my monster.

I felt the need to learn a bit more on what could possibly be my problem. I’d rather take some action now while I am still reasonably healthy mentally.

I have not really read on Aggression as I have never considered myself to be suffering from it; I’ve always only wanted to understand Depression.

Good Therapy

Aggression and violence are terms often used interchangeably; however, the two differ. Violence can be defined as the use of physical force with the intent to injure another person or destroy property, while aggression is generally defined as angry or violent feelings or behavior. A person who is aggressive does not necessarily act out with violence. Issues with aggression and violence or their effects can be addressed in therapy with the help of a mental health professional.

Types of Aggression

Aggression can be defined in multiple ways, and research in various fields often describes differing types of aggression, but four general types of aggressive behavior are as follows:

  • Accidental aggression is not intentional and may be the result of carelessness. This form of aggression is often seen in children at play and can also occur when a person is in a hurry. For example, a person running to catch a bus may run into someone, or knock over a child.
  • Expressive aggression is an act of aggression that is intentional but not meant to cause harm. A child who throw toys or kicks sand is demonstrating expressive aggression: Though the behavior could be frustrating to another person or cause harm, causing harm is not the purpose of the behavior.
  • Hostile aggression is meant to cause physical or psychological pain. Bullying and malicious gossiping or rumor-spreading are forms of hostile aggression. Reactive aggression, or an aggressive action as a result of provocation, is also a form of hostile aggression.
  • Instrumental aggression can result from conflict over objects or what are assumed to be one’s rights. For example, a student who wished to sit at a desk that was taken by another student may retaliate by knocking the other student’s belongings from the top of the desk.

These four types of aggressive behavior are often seen in children but can also describe adult actions. Some long-standing popular ideas may hold that males are more aggressive than females, but research has shown that this is not the case. Although women may tend to use aggressive tactics verbally and indirectly and resort to physical aggression less often than men, research has shown that there is not a significant difference between males and females with regard to aggression.

I will have to examine my life more deliberately and intensively although most of the time I ask myself —

Can’t I just make like Taylor and Shake it off?

As my more artistic and probably much more dramatic adult daughter (who is now a theatrical actor in plays instead of aggressively pursuing her music) says: “Le sigh!”

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16 thoughts on “Aggression

  1. The most sacred ashram is the body and mind. No need to seek anywhere and embrace definitions of anger and types of anger. Once peace is restored in the mind, the body follows the same instincts and you become more inclusive. Psychoanalyst’s perceptions and analysis must be considered with care and not imbibed entirely without first sorting out the internal differences.

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    1. Thanks so much for your input, Amitav. How does one restore peace of mind? How does one quieten the voice, the doubt, the fear, the anxiety, any feeling and just have peace? I’m sure I’ve felt peace before but that’s without any conscious coaxing from “self”. That’s how I find it difficult to sort out my internal differences.

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      1. Being comfortable with the Self is the key. You can find out some ‘me’ time to to just listen to the inner voices and address them (not at once) but gradually. Settling these arguments will also helps you to find answers to move ahead.

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      1. I would say yes, if you have felt angry and denied your brain to feel the emotion then that anger becomes suppressed. I went through a process of going back to the most traumatic times and feeling the emotion, and then letting them go..it’s amazing at how much lighter it made me feel.

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      2. I can’t even guess when and what that was… but yes, I’d like to get to that stage when it isn’t there anymore.
        Thank you so much for your input. Much appreciated. 💖

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      3. No problem, It’s about changing your thoughts towards anger. Anger is a normal emotion and it’s okay to feel angry, but in your blog you stated that you have always seen anger as a negatibe, this could be down to getting told off as a child when you were displaying signs of anger. Instead of being told that it is okay to be angry it’s sometimes the reaction that’s wrong but not the feeling. I think you are already at the stage of healing.. and I wish u the best of luck on your journey to find your self.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I was (am?), too. I guess that’s why the aggression seems worse because it’s not my norm. I don’t know if the stars/zodiacs are true but those born under the sign of Taurus are said to be patient and not easily angered but when it happens, it’s like a volcano erupting after years of inactivity, I suppose. Those around better run away. Haha! But these day, I do feel I’m angry all the time. My son says my road rage is terrible. It must be fixed soonest.
      You’re right, it’s there to deal with life, sometimes. Hey, we’re not perfect. 🙂 Thanks so much for your comment, Tony. I really appreciate your support. Hugs. xxx

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