Poetry

Raging Gloom

It used to be when gloom prevailed, teardrops fell effortlessly

Something amiss surely exists, all in chaos, seemingly

Screaming, crying, lamenting, sobbing, staring ahead blankly

I’d rather be blue than void, an empty heart isn’t for me

 

The whole world conspiring is imagined by no one but me

A paltry little soul affects them not, indubitably

Everyone except me goes on merry ways, unfailingly

I am but a walking cliché, wallowing in misery

 

Livid, indignantly dejected, despondently angry

Looking to be creative but feeling useless actually

No way out of the limbo, no escaping from reality

Winds howling, storms hurling, tides crashing, colliding with me

 

Hopeless, pointless, purely naïve; emotionless works instead

Better be fierce not slow, this jungle isn’t for the timid

Be a tyrant, no pushover; no concern for another

I’m not fighting any more, I surrender; Life is unfair!

 

© Anna Jailene Aguilar Van Der Merwe (formerly Botes)

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18 thoughts on “Raging Gloom

  1. I guess when you walk through the threshold, after realizations you can look at life with new perceptions. I take the last line of your poem, ‘I’m not fighting anymore, I surrender; Life is unfair!’ as relinquishing those moments and starting to live life with new dreams. From that closing line, there’s a glimmer of hope which can open up new vistas of life. (just my interpretations on this write)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your input, Amitav. Thank you for your feedback. You are right in that it is a relinquishment although your positive soul may be ahead of mine. It’s my acceptance of what is and leaving it up to fate, I guess, for now.. I like more your take on the fact that life is unfair. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The whole world is conspiring is imagined by no one but me
    is being clear sighted about persecution as imagined.
    There is a sense of being alone while others are making merry , yes cliche’s are known to happen , we all feel common hurts, common tooth aches, common frustration while stuck in a limbo , yet wanting to be creative ” paltry me ?!” ….Now , that is not cliche’ !
    Here you are …..spreading a gloom……sharing a gloom…….
    It must feel better , not at all common .
    Lovely poem 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much; I am touched. And thank you even more for allowing me to share my gloom, for which I apologize. It does feel better. 😊 I really appreciate your input. It helps to have an objective breakdown of an emotional topsy turvy (topsy turvy only because I don’t want to label it for fear of it becoming that, and scarier, more permanently). ❤️

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  3. I understand that when we word honest hurt , it feels more real and also you fear it does become immortal sort of…..but honestly you will get out of the rut.
    All roads lead to Rome …. 🙂 Poetry is also a road like any other.
    I really enjoyed the honesty of the rage and the gloom.
    Take care

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautiful poem, but I hope you can find a few sweet things to chase away your gloom. A child’s giggle and love, or a piece (okay maybe a whole slab) of chocolate to be savored, perhaps.

    I also find it admirable that you are able to find a creative outlet for all emotions and turn them into something more (expressive, captivating, just more in general).

    Lots of love 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much dearest ❤️ The kind words from you and others in the WP community, the support and the appreciation of our art, WP in general actually, helps a lot to lift me up off the gloom… Slowly but surely. Stress is a darned thing and a history of depression, even mild, doesn’t help… But strength in positive thoughts and in realizing that this, too, shall pass. Much love ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Yeah, life is unfair, life is a bust, all we can do is do what we must. But it has its moments. Happiness is all around in every little thing that’s happening in nature: new born babies, birds singing and flowers growing…. All we have to think is do what we love to do, what we know is comforting us even if it is Hard to do, cause in the end we feel satisfied and proud of ourselves, if we did.

    Liked by 1 person

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